06-17-2008, 09:13 AM
Asslam oliakum Brothers and Sisters
I dont realy want to introduce myself as iam probably the worst of worst there is here.
I am so desperate to change my life and become a better muslim. Unfortunatley there arnt many websites with discussion forums who have the time to to listen or give any support or guidance.
Though i have been born as a muslim i don't class my self as true muslim as i don't pray or read namaz, or know the true procedure of reading namaz ,preparing for wudu etc as there are so many differnt versions on the internet and in books. I dont Even Understand what each different namaz signifies eg Witr,nafl etc.
To make things even worse i cant sit down on the Masala properly as i cant rest my right foot the same way as other people do.
However i am selfish and tend to offer only 'isha namaz only when iam desperate for something eg if someone close to me is ill or in problems ,though it seems like a starting point and promise myself to continue reading the other 4 namaz the next day ,i just become a failure.
The business iam in i have to lie sometimes to make money and i know its wrong but sometimes i have no choice.
Iam in some ways paranoid about eveyone around me and am not able to trust even the closest people, i feel as if iam being 'Used' by everyone or taken for a 'Idiot' even by the closest around me.
I have in my lifetime committed adultry or to be more explitic 'zinaa' i have facilitated someone to help disolve her marriage and even been twice to Umra but only returned back the same.
I can be dishonest and sometimes cant be bothered to repay people back.
I can be a hypocrite at times and though iam full of 'Gunaa' i pretend that iam better then others.
I can get angry very quickly and later regret on my verbal or actions.
Please can you tell me what i should do or where to start to repair myself and become a better muslim.I just dont know where to go or where to start
i want to prepare myslef to return to Allah but just dont know where to start.
I feel that iam full of sins and though iam remorsefull and deeply regret what iam doing or what i have done in my life ,i sometimes cry for all the wrong things i have done , but this only makes me feel better for a short time.
In my city the mosques dont have the time to sit down and listen.
Please can you advise me on how to repent sincerley and where to seek true guidance .
thankyou
I dont realy want to introduce myself as iam probably the worst of worst there is here.
I am so desperate to change my life and become a better muslim. Unfortunatley there arnt many websites with discussion forums who have the time to to listen or give any support or guidance.
Though i have been born as a muslim i don't class my self as true muslim as i don't pray or read namaz, or know the true procedure of reading namaz ,preparing for wudu etc as there are so many differnt versions on the internet and in books. I dont Even Understand what each different namaz signifies eg Witr,nafl etc.
To make things even worse i cant sit down on the Masala properly as i cant rest my right foot the same way as other people do.
However i am selfish and tend to offer only 'isha namaz only when iam desperate for something eg if someone close to me is ill or in problems ,though it seems like a starting point and promise myself to continue reading the other 4 namaz the next day ,i just become a failure.
The business iam in i have to lie sometimes to make money and i know its wrong but sometimes i have no choice.
Iam in some ways paranoid about eveyone around me and am not able to trust even the closest people, i feel as if iam being 'Used' by everyone or taken for a 'Idiot' even by the closest around me.
I have in my lifetime committed adultry or to be more explitic 'zinaa' i have facilitated someone to help disolve her marriage and even been twice to Umra but only returned back the same.
I can be dishonest and sometimes cant be bothered to repay people back.
I can be a hypocrite at times and though iam full of 'Gunaa' i pretend that iam better then others.
I can get angry very quickly and later regret on my verbal or actions.
Please can you tell me what i should do or where to start to repair myself and become a better muslim.I just dont know where to go or where to start
i want to prepare myslef to return to Allah but just dont know where to start.
I feel that iam full of sins and though iam remorsefull and deeply regret what iam doing or what i have done in my life ,i sometimes cry for all the wrong things i have done , but this only makes me feel better for a short time.
In my city the mosques dont have the time to sit down and listen.
Please can you advise me on how to repent sincerley and where to seek true guidance .
thankyou