Assalamoalikum JKAL
Quote:I'm not a Muslim, but I heard that Mohammed had an intimate relationship with a nine year old. The story was that he married her when she was six, consumated the marriage at nine and died when she was eighteen. I think her name was Ayisha. Is this true?
It is ironic that many christians magnify the fact that prophet Muhammad pbuh married Aisha to repel people from Islam. It is important to know that girls during the Biblical and Islamic days used to be married off at young ages when they either had their first periods. In other words, when they turn into "women", then they get married off. It was quite different for men on the other hand, because physical power and the ability of living an independent life had always been and will always be a mandatory requirement for men to have in life. So men waited much longer than women in terms of getting married. The guy had to develop both his body and mind before he was ready for marriage.
That is why you see girls as young as 9 or 10 were married to men as old as 30 or even older. The culture back then and in many third world countries today (NON-MUSLIM ONES TOO) is quite different than what you live in today.
Fathers can sell their daughters as slave girls to other men in the Bible:
Exodus 21:7-11
7. "If a man sells his daughter as a female slave, she is not to go free as the male slaves do."
So it would be hypocritical of any Christian to say that Prophet Muhammad pbuh did something totally unethical. But the question remains, is it something totally unethical? To tell you the truth, no one, not even Aisha objected to this marriage. According to an authentic Hadith
Narrated Aisha: "The Prophet engaged me when I was a girl of six (years). We went to Medina and stayed at the home of Bani-al-Harith bin Khazraj. Then I got ill and my hair fell down. Later on my hair grew (again) and my mother, Um Ruman, came to me while I was playing in a swing with some of my girl friends. She called me, and I went to her, not knowing what she wanted to do to me. She caught me by the hand and made me stand at the door of the house. I was breathless then, and when my breathing became Alright, she took some water and rubbed my face and head with it. Then she took me into the house. There in the house I saw some Ansari women who said, "Best wishes and Allah's Blessing and a good luck." Then she entrusted me to them and they prepared me (for the marriage). Unexpectedly Allah's Apostle came to me in the forenoon and my mother handed me over to him, and at that time I was a girl of nine years of age. (Translation of Sahih Bukhari, Merits of the Helpers in Madinah (Ansaar), Volume 5, Book 58, Number 234)"
Notice here that Aisha's mother and the Muslim women back then were ok with her marriage. It was part of the Arab custom and still is in many of the Muslim and non-Muslim countries today for girls to marry at a very young age. When a girl's body starts showing up then she would be ready for marriage. Parents look at the girl's physical appearance when they prepare her for marriage. They don't care about her age. She could be 9 or 13, it doesn't matter.
we have to look at the life of Lady Aisha afterwards. She was without doubt one of the foremost scholars of Islam. It is even said that she had attained in her lifetime the position of Mufti - someone capable of giving religious rulings - a position very few Muslims will ever occupy.
She was seeked by many, both men and women, who hungered for knowledge and they came to her from all directions, Yemen, Bahrain, Syria. History does not know of any woman who was approached by so many for such a noble purpose.
If indeed she had became a victim of sexual abuse she would in most probability be devastated emotionally, psychologically, mentally and perhaps even physically but the achievements she had made in her life after the death of the Prophet proved that she was a woman who was in complete control of her faculties, becoming one of the intellectual giants of Islam.
And the fact that she had spoken so dearly of the Prophet was indicative of the innocence of the marriage and of the impeccable character of her husband because given the trust enjoyed by her by the virtue of her relationship with him, she could have unleashed a vengeful attack against him by attributing to him words or deeds of horrendous nature if indeed she was a victim of his supposed lust, destroying both the Prophet and Islam.
No sexual abuse victim would ever spoke positively of her attacker, much less becoming a channel that promote love and understanding of him and the message which he had brought.
But still, you may say, she is considered a child in our standards today.
Well, a lot of the things we do today are not right in the eyes of many. Our "standards" today mean nothing to what took place 1400 years ago. Today, anyone under 18 years old is considered a "child", a baby still under his mommy's and daddy's care. Back then on the other hand, people who reached the age of 18 were considered wise and very mature.
Let me share this Islamic story with you:
There is a famous Islamic figure called "Osama bin Zayd (or Zaid)". This man was once a leader or one of the leaders of the Muslims who met the Roman Christians. He defeated them. He was only 16 to 18 years old.
So the point is, Aisha, peace be upon her, might look as child to you, but back then she certainly was considered as "woman" who was qualified for marriage.
You also need to know that life 1400 years ago was very rough in the too hot desert. From my personal knowledge, the average life span back then was 50 years. People used to die from all kinds of diseases. Both parents of Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him for instance, died natural deaths before he even knew them. His father, Abdallah bin Hashem, died while Amina bint Wahb (Amy in English as Mary for Mariam), Muhammad's mother was still pregnant with Muhammad. After she gave birth, she died when he was 2 years old (I believe). Muhammad was the only child of his parents.
Muhammad was raised by his mother's female servant, Saadiyyah, and by his uncle (father's brother) Abu Talib, who later stood up for him and protected him when Muhammad declared to be Allah Almighty's Messenger at the age of 40.
May God guide you and me to the right path
ALI